Good evening friends.
Today was a day of mixed emotions. First JC and Mary arrived and brought a ton of light from the outside world. What a joy to have friends here with me. They will be spending the day tomorrow and I am most thankful.
Dr Syn came in today to change the wound (I have since named the wound from hell). He said the sides of the wound are not sticking together and therefore not closing as he had wished. He decided to try a new method of closing it. The good news is the new way does not have me hooked up to the vacuum drain so now I am free to get up and walk around - in fact he wants me to as much as I can. Fortunately my sister bought me a classy new robe when she was here so I can go for a walk and not shock the neighbors - even in Texas the moon isn't that big.
Dr. said that he really thinks that this should all be done in the next 2 weeks. There is the option of sending me home with the wound open and getting visiting nurses to come and change the wounds - but I am opting for staying here until he is happy and the wound is closed. After 1 big glitch - I am not in favor of another.
Well - that's the news for now - and I hope it is better tomorrow.
Hugs to all.
Chuck
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Good morning. It has been a few days - sorry - but some days there is just nothing to say. Actually I think I have been swirling down into the maelstrom of self-pity. Sitting here in a bed for the past 6 weeks has finally gotten to me - big time. It happens - but today seems to see a clearing of the fog a bit - and I am getting company tonight and tomorrow and that will help big time.
JC is coming back to visit and bringing his wonderful wife and old friend Mary with him. Mary is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it will be good to have someone to compare scars with. Mary, JC and I all were in seminary together many years ago and I was one of the clergy that performed their wedding. Something many of you might not know is that many years ago after I quit serving the church in New York and decided I needed to live in CA again, I moved in with JC and Mary in Willits CA - way up north and my job was - sit down for this one - sorting pears in the pear sheds with 500 migrant workers - mostly women all speaking Spanish. Possibly the most miserable job I have ever had - standing for 8 hours looking down at a conveyor belt deciding which pears were grade A or B. I could go on for hours.
Before October ends I must wish Happy Birthday to 3 very special men in my life. Being locked in an industrial tan room on the 3rd floor of an institution I did not have the chance to buy a card and was not up to answering or sending email as most of you know. But to Charlie, Michael, and Owen I send belated birthday wishes. As one of the ideas of this blog is to collect a history of this particular journey maybe I will take this opportunity to share a bit of these special men and how they have impacted my overall journey.
Lets do this by age - sorry Charlie.
Owen, the youngest of the three is my great nephew - and great is the word for him. He is very bright, funny, adventurous and cute as can be. He is special to me for many reasons but one of those reasons is he is always ready to give me a huge hug and the phrase "I love you Unca Chuck".
Then there is Michael, or should I say the Reverend Father Michael T. SJ Grand Whoha of the Rectory of Loyola. That is in Buffalo NY and I think he uses his title to keep warm. Michael and I met in Seminary also and immediately became soul mates. We used to share steamed milk and truffles on cold nights in Berkeley and have journeyed all over the place together. Each of us made our first trip to PTown together. Michael is an amazing artist and if you have been to my home you had to have seen lots of his work.
And finally Charlie - well - although a book let alone a chapter of a book could be written about my love for each of these people I have only so much space here.
Charlie came into my life as an employee - which after about 5 days turned into my best friend and he, his partner Scott and I became inseparable. The parties at their home in the wine country, doing cabaret, holidays together - and the fact is the love shared by the 3 of us might just have saved my life for my years in Northern California.
I love all 3 of you very much - and thank you for being huge parts of my journey.
Well time for my bath and then a nap. (ok ok so it is not all bad)
Love Chuck
JC is coming back to visit and bringing his wonderful wife and old friend Mary with him. Mary is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it will be good to have someone to compare scars with. Mary, JC and I all were in seminary together many years ago and I was one of the clergy that performed their wedding. Something many of you might not know is that many years ago after I quit serving the church in New York and decided I needed to live in CA again, I moved in with JC and Mary in Willits CA - way up north and my job was - sit down for this one - sorting pears in the pear sheds with 500 migrant workers - mostly women all speaking Spanish. Possibly the most miserable job I have ever had - standing for 8 hours looking down at a conveyor belt deciding which pears were grade A or B. I could go on for hours.
Before October ends I must wish Happy Birthday to 3 very special men in my life. Being locked in an industrial tan room on the 3rd floor of an institution I did not have the chance to buy a card and was not up to answering or sending email as most of you know. But to Charlie, Michael, and Owen I send belated birthday wishes. As one of the ideas of this blog is to collect a history of this particular journey maybe I will take this opportunity to share a bit of these special men and how they have impacted my overall journey.
Lets do this by age - sorry Charlie.
Owen, the youngest of the three is my great nephew - and great is the word for him. He is very bright, funny, adventurous and cute as can be. He is special to me for many reasons but one of those reasons is he is always ready to give me a huge hug and the phrase "I love you Unca Chuck".
Then there is Michael, or should I say the Reverend Father Michael T. SJ Grand Whoha of the Rectory of Loyola. That is in Buffalo NY and I think he uses his title to keep warm. Michael and I met in Seminary also and immediately became soul mates. We used to share steamed milk and truffles on cold nights in Berkeley and have journeyed all over the place together. Each of us made our first trip to PTown together. Michael is an amazing artist and if you have been to my home you had to have seen lots of his work.
And finally Charlie - well - although a book let alone a chapter of a book could be written about my love for each of these people I have only so much space here.
Charlie came into my life as an employee - which after about 5 days turned into my best friend and he, his partner Scott and I became inseparable. The parties at their home in the wine country, doing cabaret, holidays together - and the fact is the love shared by the 3 of us might just have saved my life for my years in Northern California.
I love all 3 of you very much - and thank you for being huge parts of my journey.
Well time for my bath and then a nap. (ok ok so it is not all bad)
Love Chuck
Friday, October 26, 2007
Many good things
Well today is a much better day. Between a very handsome ENT and the resp. dept. my congestion issue seems to be getting better - tonight will be the test.
The better news is that Dr. Syn was in today and said he is thrilled with the way the wound is healing and that it could be only 7-10 days until I get to go home. Now that is some good news. Time will still tell and there have been many distractions along the way - but not hearing the word weeks from him this morning was a joy.
My costume for Halloween is easy this year. My hair is a perfect model for a fright wig, I am back on oxygen so there are tubes up my nose, and I am bit pale - now if I were allowed to eat candy I would be set.
Off to a nap and then some yummy food for dinner (hey even I can be an optimist at times)
Love to all - Chuck
The better news is that Dr. Syn was in today and said he is thrilled with the way the wound is healing and that it could be only 7-10 days until I get to go home. Now that is some good news. Time will still tell and there have been many distractions along the way - but not hearing the word weeks from him this morning was a joy.
My costume for Halloween is easy this year. My hair is a perfect model for a fright wig, I am back on oxygen so there are tubes up my nose, and I am bit pale - now if I were allowed to eat candy I would be set.
Off to a nap and then some yummy food for dinner (hey even I can be an optimist at times)
Love to all - Chuck
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Everyone has one
Hello friends - today was not a good day - dealing with some industrial strength congestion - but After Tomorrow is another day.
love - Chuck
love - Chuck
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
IV free
Wow - what a big day. I have been removed from my IV - no more needles, tubes, or being stuck. The only downside is now I need to ask for my morphine - but that is a small price to pay.
The other good news is that the Dr. did decrease the size of my sponge in my wound and it is now closing on its own.
Now I am off to bed - been a long but good day.
Much love to you all.
Chuck
The other good news is that the Dr. did decrease the size of my sponge in my wound and it is now closing on its own.
Now I am off to bed - been a long but good day.
Much love to you all.
Chuck
Today in Texas
Good Morning.
Today I fell better than I have in weeks. My congestion is breaking up, the Dr. begins to close my wound today, the eggs for breakfast had been cooked today, I get to shave myself today with my very own razor and of course designer shave gel -there is a God. I cannot even tell you how horrible my hair looks - and you know how I am about my hair - maybe patience is something I am learning - Hmmm - not a bad thing.
This is the week I would be going home to PA for my sisters wedding. It is sad that I wont be able to be there but I ask you all to join me in sending out good karma to her and Tom - two people who seem to have found the happiness that everyone searches for.
Its cold here in Bushland. It was 34 this morning - yikes - one good thing about being trapped in a hospital room. Speaking of hospital rooms - this one is a hoot. The best staff in the world is asked to work in an environment that is less than ideal.
My room is very small - very few plugs so moving me around in it is quite difficult as I am plugged into many things. The bathroom is a shock. There is no way any bariatric patient could get into the room and close the door. The grab bars are behind that door of course. Quite a place.
Well I am fading now - so off for a nap and some more jello - feels like I live in Utah - more jello than anyone could eat.
Hugs and love - Chuck
Today I fell better than I have in weeks. My congestion is breaking up, the Dr. begins to close my wound today, the eggs for breakfast had been cooked today, I get to shave myself today with my very own razor and of course designer shave gel -there is a God. I cannot even tell you how horrible my hair looks - and you know how I am about my hair - maybe patience is something I am learning - Hmmm - not a bad thing.
This is the week I would be going home to PA for my sisters wedding. It is sad that I wont be able to be there but I ask you all to join me in sending out good karma to her and Tom - two people who seem to have found the happiness that everyone searches for.
Its cold here in Bushland. It was 34 this morning - yikes - one good thing about being trapped in a hospital room. Speaking of hospital rooms - this one is a hoot. The best staff in the world is asked to work in an environment that is less than ideal.
My room is very small - very few plugs so moving me around in it is quite difficult as I am plugged into many things. The bathroom is a shock. There is no way any bariatric patient could get into the room and close the door. The grab bars are behind that door of course. Quite a place.
Well I am fading now - so off for a nap and some more jello - feels like I live in Utah - more jello than anyone could eat.
Hugs and love - Chuck
Monday, October 22, 2007
TV in West Texas
This huge University Medical Center has some contract with a cable provider to offer service to the rooms. There are only 19 channels - no food network, no home and garden network, no LOGO, 4 religious channels, 2 channels of Fox Noise, 2 movie channels showing movies I wouldn't have seen the first time around, SiFi channel and all the others are in Spanish. There should be a law.
Actually tried to work a bit today - yes - some of you might know that just before coming here for the supposedly 8 days I began work as the Development person for Chamber Music Albuquerque - and I was thrilled. For whatever reason they seem to want to hang on to me and for that I am very thankful - so today I actually tried to earn my keep - it felt good.
I have been thinking lately about the whole American ideal of more, bigger, faster, better; the need to spend all our time working and achieving and so little time living, loving, sharing, and being. I realize that there are so many of you out there that I have not shared much time with over the past years and I miss you. This attempt to stay connected is making me aware of the love that is in each of us and just needs to be connected on a regular basis.
Life is pretty amazing if you allow it to be -
Much love to you all.
Actually tried to work a bit today - yes - some of you might know that just before coming here for the supposedly 8 days I began work as the Development person for Chamber Music Albuquerque - and I was thrilled. For whatever reason they seem to want to hang on to me and for that I am very thankful - so today I actually tried to earn my keep - it felt good.
I have been thinking lately about the whole American ideal of more, bigger, faster, better; the need to spend all our time working and achieving and so little time living, loving, sharing, and being. I realize that there are so many of you out there that I have not shared much time with over the past years and I miss you. This attempt to stay connected is making me aware of the love that is in each of us and just needs to be connected on a regular basis.
Life is pretty amazing if you allow it to be -
Much love to you all.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Food, glorious food
Today I began eating real food again - YEA!!!!! Breakfast was sausage, lunch was chicken - I got to chew, taste, and not gag - there is a God.
After the bedside surgery - the Dr. is happy and so am I . He says next week he will begin to make the sponge inside the wound smaller each time he changes it so it will begin to close itself. This is really good news.
I have been sleeping a lot lately it seems the days are just long periods of time one waits to pass until night time comes and sleep takes you away to dreams until morning when the process begins all over again. I have developed a huge respect for those who are bedridden for long periods and often lifetimes. I will never understand how they do it.
The other thing I have noticed is that the world needs many more handsome male nurses.
For today - blessings to you all.
After the bedside surgery - the Dr. is happy and so am I . He says next week he will begin to make the sponge inside the wound smaller each time he changes it so it will begin to close itself. This is really good news.
I have been sleeping a lot lately it seems the days are just long periods of time one waits to pass until night time comes and sleep takes you away to dreams until morning when the process begins all over again. I have developed a huge respect for those who are bedridden for long periods and often lifetimes. I will never understand how they do it.
The other thing I have noticed is that the world needs many more handsome male nurses.
For today - blessings to you all.
Friday, October 19, 2007
The wonders of science
Spending 3+ weeks in the hospital exposes one to all kinds of medical and mechanical wonders.
In the forefront is the Magic Green Finger which I believe I have stated is my morphine feed. There is the amazing VacPac that is connected to one of my open wounds - I am stuffed with some space age sponge and the vacuum from this gadget keeps the blood flowing and the tissue healing. They have even redesigned bedpans. But the most amazing thing has been the parade of beds they have had me in.
Bed 1 was a complete adventure. It was an air bed that keep self-adjusting which was a bit disconcerting but comfortable. It had many settings and even turned into a chair when needed.
One evening we were having some trouble with the bed doing what it was supposed to do and just before Edwin left he thought he found the solution and set the bed to Quiet Rest hugged me goodbye and left. Well Quiet Rest is a setting that constantly and slowly inflates and deflates the bed, raises it high into the air and lowers it completely and begins all over again. At first I couldn't figure out what was happening - but soon realized that I would spend the entire night floating through the air and had to call the nurse. New bed the next day.
The good news today is that there is not going to be another surgery - the bad news was he did it bedside. Cutting dead tissue from my insides - didn't hurt but the snip of the scissors each time was a bit strange.
So much for now - back to Nash Bridges reruns.
Much love - Chuck
In the forefront is the Magic Green Finger which I believe I have stated is my morphine feed. There is the amazing VacPac that is connected to one of my open wounds - I am stuffed with some space age sponge and the vacuum from this gadget keeps the blood flowing and the tissue healing. They have even redesigned bedpans. But the most amazing thing has been the parade of beds they have had me in.
Bed 1 was a complete adventure. It was an air bed that keep self-adjusting which was a bit disconcerting but comfortable. It had many settings and even turned into a chair when needed.
One evening we were having some trouble with the bed doing what it was supposed to do and just before Edwin left he thought he found the solution and set the bed to Quiet Rest hugged me goodbye and left. Well Quiet Rest is a setting that constantly and slowly inflates and deflates the bed, raises it high into the air and lowers it completely and begins all over again. At first I couldn't figure out what was happening - but soon realized that I would spend the entire night floating through the air and had to call the nurse. New bed the next day.
The good news today is that there is not going to be another surgery - the bad news was he did it bedside. Cutting dead tissue from my insides - didn't hurt but the snip of the scissors each time was a bit strange.
So much for now - back to Nash Bridges reruns.
Much love - Chuck
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Little green bumps
Hospital food has never, as far as I know, been touted as yummy. Now take that hospital food, puree it till it is a very thick liquid, put it into a mold shaped like a pile of peas and serve it to someone who is sick - Hmmmmmm. I wont say more - in case you are reading this prior to a meal.
Today more good news came. The Dr. who wanted to do an additional surgery today decided that the wound is healing so well now that he is going to start to close it later today - at bedside - Hope he is bring a LOT of drugs with him. But I always have my green finger of joy - this is the button to my morphine pump and has become my best friend. Better living through Chemistry.
Tomorrow I understand I might be getting a real chair to sit in and then I promise the blogs will be longer. UMC is an amazing place for care but they are about 20 years behind in updating the rooms. My sister did some decorating but couldn't increase the size of the room - and here I thought she could do anything. I really wanted to get this out to you all and say once again for the very special notes and comments.
Things are getting better each day - and your prayers and support are one of the reasons.
Much love and good night.
Chuck
Today more good news came. The Dr. who wanted to do an additional surgery today decided that the wound is healing so well now that he is going to start to close it later today - at bedside - Hope he is bring a LOT of drugs with him. But I always have my green finger of joy - this is the button to my morphine pump and has become my best friend. Better living through Chemistry.
Tomorrow I understand I might be getting a real chair to sit in and then I promise the blogs will be longer. UMC is an amazing place for care but they are about 20 years behind in updating the rooms. My sister did some decorating but couldn't increase the size of the room - and here I thought she could do anything. I really wanted to get this out to you all and say once again for the very special notes and comments.
Things are getting better each day - and your prayers and support are one of the reasons.
Much love and good night.
Chuck
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
as I was saying. .
Hello all my friends. I have returned from the darkness and my first task was to say catch up on news about the happenings in wonderful downtown Lubbock.
Let me say first of all that I am a very lucky person. As most of you know I have a sister - a pretty damn special sister. She and her fiancee just returned from a trip to Israel.
She stepped off the plane on Friday night and Saturday morning was on another one to Lubbock. She left today as she is in the midst of planning her wedding that is happening on November 1 but our visit was very special. She did some shopping and brought me many books to read. We cried that I will not be able to attend the wedding and she got lost a lot in Lubbock. Thank you Susie for coming way out here to spend time with me. Who is next? You will love Lubbock.
Ok - here is the scoop.
3 days after surgery I awoke feeling great and began my morning with a cough. Wrong thing to do. That tore open all the fascia (look it up - I don't know what it means) something about the tissue inside my abdomen. So back to emergency room and eventually that day surgery again to fix all that.
I was released from ICU and sent to wonderful room 329 where I have become the long termer on the floor.
I will pass along more details as time goes on. The good news is that I am healing better than I was. The Dr. thought I might have surgery again this week but it is looking like that wont have to happen. Cross fingers, etc. please.
There is so much to tell you all and so many wild things about hospital care and special post surgery beds, the size of the tissues they give you, the 4 and 6 AM vitals taking but I will write more tomorrow. I know some of you were worried and I wanted to get this out to you asap.
I love you all and have loved the comments - keep em coming.
Till tomorrow - good night!
Let me say first of all that I am a very lucky person. As most of you know I have a sister - a pretty damn special sister. She and her fiancee just returned from a trip to Israel.
She stepped off the plane on Friday night and Saturday morning was on another one to Lubbock. She left today as she is in the midst of planning her wedding that is happening on November 1 but our visit was very special. She did some shopping and brought me many books to read. We cried that I will not be able to attend the wedding and she got lost a lot in Lubbock. Thank you Susie for coming way out here to spend time with me. Who is next? You will love Lubbock.
Ok - here is the scoop.
3 days after surgery I awoke feeling great and began my morning with a cough. Wrong thing to do. That tore open all the fascia (look it up - I don't know what it means) something about the tissue inside my abdomen. So back to emergency room and eventually that day surgery again to fix all that.
I was released from ICU and sent to wonderful room 329 where I have become the long termer on the floor.
I will pass along more details as time goes on. The good news is that I am healing better than I was. The Dr. thought I might have surgery again this week but it is looking like that wont have to happen. Cross fingers, etc. please.
There is so much to tell you all and so many wild things about hospital care and special post surgery beds, the size of the tissues they give you, the 4 and 6 AM vitals taking but I will write more tomorrow. I know some of you were worried and I wanted to get this out to you asap.
I love you all and have loved the comments - keep em coming.
Till tomorrow - good night!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Ain't Life a Surprise
Last Wednesday evening, I underwent additional surgery to repair some issues that developed with one of the incisions from my bariatric surgery. I am still in the hospital and don't know how long I will be here but, I am doing fine. Edwin's with me nearly round the clock and the staff at the hospital continues to amaze me as to how perfect they are.
Love,
Chuck.
PS. As of blogging this posting, Chuck has been moved from the Surgical Intensive Care Unit to a regular hospital room. He continues to improve at a very rapid pace.
Edwin
Love,
Chuck.
PS. As of blogging this posting, Chuck has been moved from the Surgical Intensive Care Unit to a regular hospital room. He continues to improve at a very rapid pace.
Edwin
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