Happy New Year

Well here we are on New Year's Eve - ready to welcome 2008 - who woulda thunk.

I know on my part that 2007 was a huge year - filled with new and interesting experiences - well enough already - lol - I am ready for 2008 like you cant believe. Bring it on I am going to scream at midnight.

This year I plan on becoming thinner, doing lots of travel, working again, completing my back yard, and having a ball.

I invite you all to come by for a visit. The holidays here are a cultural experience you would never forget - October hosts the largest hot air balloon fiesta in the world - in the spring the desert is in bloom and is amazing - there are zillions of Indian ruins and living pueblos to visit - so give it some thought.

Many blessings for an outstanding and safe 2008 - always - Chuck

Being Thankful

This week when I heard the news from the San Francisco Zoo - I was very saddened but at the same time so thankful that I am no longer in charge of Public Relations and Fund Raising there. I loved that job - but glad it is not mine today.

Off to get my first haircut since surgery - yes it is long and ugly - but back in the chair today will be a good thing.

Well - just a short note today - be well and hugs - Chuck

All the Way In

Happy Holidays. I hope you all survived the big day with little trauma and lots of wonderful gifts.

Today there was a milestone passed. I had an appointment with my regular Dr. here in NM - I drove cross town to her office and parked the car and then walked from my car to her office - 3 floors up and the entire length of a big building - without stopping. Prior to my surgery I had to walk into the building and take the elevator and sit down outside the elevator prior to the long walk down the hallway. So today, still pretty weak, did better than prior to the surgery. YEA!!!
Its working.

The month of January seems to be getting busy. I will have company for the first 10 days - my friends from Phoenix will be coming over and then JC and his wife will be coming for a week. Following that I will be finally making this trip to TX to see my Dr. and then my sister will be stopping by for a visit. February will be nice to just rest up.

In March sometime I hope to be taking a little trip to some exotic location to sit on the beach and be warm, drink pina coladas, and ponder the next chapter in my life. If you have any suggestions as to where I might travel - do let me know.

Many hugs - and best wishes for a very special New Year.
Chuck

Today

As I sit here writing the first flakes of what is supposed to be our first real snowfall are coming down. They are the big flakes, falling slowly - the kind we all dream will fall on Christmas eve and they are lovely.

All the mountains one can see in the distance are snow covered and it is cold today - our high will be only 38. Yesterday was beautiful - people were sitting in outdoor cafes and the sun was bright and warm - it can change quickly this far in the air.

Packages have arrived and all mine have been sent and I sit here prepared for the holiday. I hope today finds you the same.

Yesterday I went shopping and stocked up on food for the holiday so I wont have to battle the crowds in the stores and I picked up two new books by two of my favorite authors, Sue Grafton and Patricia Cornwell - so now I have something to read over the next days. Nothing like snow, the tree lights and a good murder mystery.

Well I am off to have my mid-morning snack - be well and stay warm.
Hugs - Chuck

More Time to Enjoy the Tree

Good Morning all!

I have decided to reschedule my appointment with the Dr. in TX scheduled for tomorrow. I just didnt think I was ready to make that trip by myself. So January 15th I will try again. This gives me more time to enjoy my own home during the holidays and not the inside of hotel rooms.

Speaking of holidays - this is an open invitation - ever since I was a very small boy there is one thing I have wanted to do and that is to see the Rose Bowl Parade in person. SO - next year for New Years I will be in Pasadena for that event - if there is anyone who would like to go along - you have an entire year to plan - just let me know. PS - I used to want to sleep on the street and be right there in the morning - but worry not - now I want a room in a rather upscale hotel and reserved seats in the grandstand.

2 big boxes were delivered by UPS yesterday - and now anxious to open them - and this tells me the big day is closing in on us. Hope you are ready.
Hugs - Chuck

From my House to Yours

Well - here is my tree. Isnt it amazing - an with little white lights it is so cheerful at night.

Today was a lazy day. I cooked, read the paper, napped, ate, napped, and watched Christmas specials on TV. A bit to quite for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful week working up to the holidays. I believe I am making a trip to TX to see the Dr. but there are some issues I need to work out first. I am going to make the trip a day longer than usual so I dong tire out - but I need to figure out how to get my dressings changed during the trip. In a way I am hoping the Dr. says wait until the wounds are healed. The trip to Lubbock is not something I look forward to.

Blessings to you all.

Chuck

The sights are beautiful

Twinkling white lights - lots of red ribbon - and the smell of pine - yes, for the first time in about 10 years my house is decorated for the holidays. My sister made the arrangements for a florist to come put up a tree and add lots of other decorations. Its wonderful - and the tree is about as perfect as any I have ever seen.

When I look out the windows I see lots of snow on the mountains but the sun is bright down here and the day is moderately warm.

Yesterday and again today I made my first trips to the grocery store. The little scooters they provide are such fun and make shopping for me a possibility. It is a lot of work still but I feel stronger each day.

I actually did laundry today and finished wrapping presents and took them to UPS store - then the grocery store - I believe I will sleep well tonight - as I am currently done in.

Hope all is well with you and that you are approaching the holidays with joy and sanity.
Hugs - Chuck

Its About Time

Well - after forever in the hospital with not one cute male nurse - my Physical Therapist, Brian came today for the first time - and goodness - this makes up for all the non-hotties in the healing process.

Today is cold and windy and we are expecting snow. I am staying inside and reading by the fire. No - I didnt get a fireplace - but I am pretending - its been a long fall - lol.

Cooking on my own seems to be my biggest challenge (except for undressing this one wound by myself each morning to take a shower - you know how I am with the yuck factor) but I dont think I will starve.

All 3 of my neighbors have stopped in since Beth left - they are such good people and I do appreciate them looking in on me.

Well - I must begin wrapping gifts - so till later - Chuck

Now the fun begins

Greetings all!! Sorry to be remiss is writing in the blog for a while - but life continues to be interesting.

My second caregiver left today and now I am on my own - should be interesting. This is going to make me be more active and push myself even more and I need that.

The wounds are healing - slowly - and you all know how full of patience I am. But I am learning.
I am still attached to this little machine so I am not going lots of places. I am driving, and doing some shopping but wearing pants (like jeans) is difficult so I am left with sweat pants and you know what I think is the fashion offense is for wearing sweat pants in polite public.

I have almost finished my Christmas shopping - thank God for the Internet. Now to get them wrapped and sent back to my family. Not sure about holiday cards this year - so don't feel badly if you don't get one from me.

That's it for now - will be more regular with the posts - I promise.

Chuck

Moving On

Well - I have now been home a week and the difference in my health and my emotional state could not be more dramatic. I am eating well, walking well, feeling good, the wounds are healing, and I even drove the car this week. Life is good.

This picture was just prior to going into the hospital.

This picture was taken yesterday - you can see the weight loss in my face. Tomorrow I will be taking an official weight and will post the total amount then but I believe it is very close to 100 pounds so far. It feels good.



Much love to you all - Chuck

O MY!

There is no way to tell you how good it is to be home. JC is doing an outstanding job of cooking and I am finally getting the nutrition I was supposed to get in the hospital. I really believe I was suffering from mild malnutrition when I left Lubbock.

I am up and walking around the house. Yesterday I spent time out on the patio in the beautiful sunshine we are having and it was wonderful to see the blue sky and get some fresh air.

Today JC took me to the post office to get the mail they had been holding for the past 8 weeks - yikes - I will be going through mail for days. Today is glorious - should be in the mid 70' - although we have a cold spell coming - it is supposed to be 41 on Friday with a low of 28 that night - YIKES again.

I will be blogging more and responding to emails more in the next few days as I continue to become stronger so hang in there if you haven't heard from me in a while. My trainer is coming tomorrow to do an evaluation and to help me create a plan to get me stronger. It is amazing how much strength you lose by doing nothing for 2 months. There are many lessons that have been learned in this ordeal.

Many hugs - and more love - Chuck

Home at Last!!!

I am home - yes - my own home in Albuquerque - I am sitting at my computer and feeling so good about it.

JC and I made the 6 hour drive yesterday and it was one hell of a long 6 hours. But to breathe fresh air - see something other than the inside of a hospital room - and know I was coming home made it all doable. Thank God for JC spending this time with me - and then a friend of my sisters will be coming to spend 2 more weeks - and the rumor is by then I should be all healed and ready to deal with life on my own.

I am going to continue the blog for some time - but wanted to thank all of you who read it and posted comments it was a huge help while in the hospital.

In the next week I should also have a weight loss update for you all - so stayed tuned.
Love Chuck

Home after all

Well the best news is that the Dr. said I could go home - actually to MY home NOT a nursing home. I need to promise him there will be someone with me for 3 weeks - but if I can do that he is find sending me home and having home health come in daily to dress my wound.

I am thrilled about this news as you can imagine - I have the first week covered - but my sister is working on finding me someone for the rest of the time. Anyone want an all expenses paid trip to NM? lol

Feeling pretty good today - the congestion stuff has pretty much cleared up, the view from my new room is great, lunch was almost edible, and now home - yea!!

Hope to see you all soon.
Chuck

Moving day?

Well - today I met with my social worker - her name is really Grizelda - Hmmm - and it sounds as if I might be moving back to Albuquerque as early as next week. I wont be going home but to a specialized care facility - I think that means nursing home - yikes - is my fear of being old going to hold out through that? Hmmm.

Well -- off to drink lots more protein and help this wound heal.

Hugs and love - Chuck

A great day

Yesterday an young man walked into my room and told me he was a senior nursing student and he needed to spend 2 days taking care of someone and would I mind being that someone. He seemed nice and I said yes.

Well today he shows up and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. To say nothing of the fact that he is 6'2", blond, a bit shy, 30ish - but when he is not nursing he is an instructor at a massage therapy school. So today, after my bath, I received one of the best massages ever. And he comes back tomorrow. Life aint always so bad.

I am waiting for the Dr. to come in today to check the wound with the latest new approach he is using and to talk about any options he might have found for me going home.

I think if there was someone there to be with me - he would send me home tomorrow and call in home health care of some kind. One of the disadvantages of being single - lol.

They finally have made progress on my congestion - I told them 4 weeks ago that I had a sinus infection and no one agreed with me - so today I find out I have a sinus infection and with the new meds for that I am already feeling better. I shoulda been a doctar.

Well - off for a time in the chair and a walk around the room. Be well - hugs.
Chuck

Whats Next

Well - after some days of severe depression I finally had a "come ta Jesus" meeting with the Dr. After so long here and seeing very little progress on getting this wound to close I began being aggressive about what is next - even asking if we needed to call in a wound specialist. He seemed a bit caught off guard and defended all he was doing and we agreed to talk about it more today.

This morning he came in when I was coughing and hacking my way through my usual morning congestion fest when in walks Dr. Syn. I got to the point I could talk and then in my usual emotional way - I fell apart. Well - that might have been the best thing I could do. We had a long chat about the options. Right now it seems as if he is keen on sending me back to Albuquerque to a facility there - where they will focus on closing the wound. This gave me a very huge burst of hope that at least I could be near home soon. I will keep you posted.

Not much else to say - the big wedding happened last Friday night and my sister and Tom are enjoying Paris as we speak.

Well - off to a mid-day nap - be well all.

Chuck

Been busy

Good evening friends.

Its been busy around here. Sensing that I was a bit down - the nurses decided to move me to a room with a view. Instead of an office building I now have a view of the campus and real people, trees, and traffic. It really did make a difference as I now feel more connected to the world.

The Dr. still seems pleased with the progress of my wound but isn't talking about time frame much. Tomorrow he is going to put me back on the vacuum thing and hopes that this will be the start of the end. I hope so also.

I am trying to walk more these days but after 5 weeks flat on my back and not walking - it is a bit of work to make that happen. When I stand I have flashes back to nights at the Badlands in San Francisco, knowing I had to find my car or at least the street it was parked on - yikes. But the aid is actually making it part of my daily schedule so it will get better soon.

I had the chance to celebrate Halloween with JC and Mary. I even have some pictures to share here but the ones JC sent me seem to be to big to make the upload - anyone know how I can make them smaller so it will work?

Currently there is a lovely view of Texas Tech at night with lots of twinkling lights and some students walking slowly on the well lit campus sidewalks. It seems like so long since I walked anywhere but I know that it wont be long - all I need to do is keep working and moving forward.

Hope to share the pics soon - be well and much love.
Chuck

Well maybe next time

Good evening friends.

Today was a day of mixed emotions. First JC and Mary arrived and brought a ton of light from the outside world. What a joy to have friends here with me. They will be spending the day tomorrow and I am most thankful.

Dr Syn came in today to change the wound (I have since named the wound from hell). He said the sides of the wound are not sticking together and therefore not closing as he had wished. He decided to try a new method of closing it. The good news is the new way does not have me hooked up to the vacuum drain so now I am free to get up and walk around - in fact he wants me to as much as I can. Fortunately my sister bought me a classy new robe when she was here so I can go for a walk and not shock the neighbors - even in Texas the moon isn't that big.

Dr. said that he really thinks that this should all be done in the next 2 weeks. There is the option of sending me home with the wound open and getting visiting nurses to come and change the wounds - but I am opting for staying here until he is happy and the wound is closed. After 1 big glitch - I am not in favor of another.

Well - that's the news for now - and I hope it is better tomorrow.

Hugs to all.
Chuck

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Good morning. It has been a few days - sorry - but some days there is just nothing to say. Actually I think I have been swirling down into the maelstrom of self-pity. Sitting here in a bed for the past 6 weeks has finally gotten to me - big time. It happens - but today seems to see a clearing of the fog a bit - and I am getting company tonight and tomorrow and that will help big time.

JC is coming back to visit and bringing his wonderful wife and old friend Mary with him. Mary is recovering from rotator cuff surgery and it will be good to have someone to compare scars with. Mary, JC and I all were in seminary together many years ago and I was one of the clergy that performed their wedding. Something many of you might not know is that many years ago after I quit serving the church in New York and decided I needed to live in CA again, I moved in with JC and Mary in Willits CA - way up north and my job was - sit down for this one - sorting pears in the pear sheds with 500 migrant workers - mostly women all speaking Spanish. Possibly the most miserable job I have ever had - standing for 8 hours looking down at a conveyor belt deciding which pears were grade A or B. I could go on for hours.

Before October ends I must wish Happy Birthday to 3 very special men in my life. Being locked in an industrial tan room on the 3rd floor of an institution I did not have the chance to buy a card and was not up to answering or sending email as most of you know. But to Charlie, Michael, and Owen I send belated birthday wishes. As one of the ideas of this blog is to collect a history of this particular journey maybe I will take this opportunity to share a bit of these special men and how they have impacted my overall journey.

Lets do this by age - sorry Charlie.
Owen, the youngest of the three is my great nephew - and great is the word for him. He is very bright, funny, adventurous and cute as can be. He is special to me for many reasons but one of those reasons is he is always ready to give me a huge hug and the phrase "I love you Unca Chuck".
Then there is Michael, or should I say the Reverend Father Michael T. SJ Grand Whoha of the Rectory of Loyola. That is in Buffalo NY and I think he uses his title to keep warm. Michael and I met in Seminary also and immediately became soul mates. We used to share steamed milk and truffles on cold nights in Berkeley and have journeyed all over the place together. Each of us made our first trip to PTown together. Michael is an amazing artist and if you have been to my home you had to have seen lots of his work.
And finally Charlie - well - although a book let alone a chapter of a book could be written about my love for each of these people I have only so much space here.
Charlie came into my life as an employee - which after about 5 days turned into my best friend and he, his partner Scott and I became inseparable. The parties at their home in the wine country, doing cabaret, holidays together - and the fact is the love shared by the 3 of us might just have saved my life for my years in Northern California.
I love all 3 of you very much - and thank you for being huge parts of my journey.

Well time for my bath and then a nap. (ok ok so it is not all bad)

Love Chuck

Many good things

Well today is a much better day. Between a very handsome ENT and the resp. dept. my congestion issue seems to be getting better - tonight will be the test.

The better news is that Dr. Syn was in today and said he is thrilled with the way the wound is healing and that it could be only 7-10 days until I get to go home. Now that is some good news. Time will still tell and there have been many distractions along the way - but not hearing the word weeks from him this morning was a joy.

My costume for Halloween is easy this year. My hair is a perfect model for a fright wig, I am back on oxygen so there are tubes up my nose, and I am bit pale - now if I were allowed to eat candy I would be set.

Off to a nap and then some yummy food for dinner (hey even I can be an optimist at times)

Love to all - Chuck

Everyone has one

Hello friends - today was not a good day - dealing with some industrial strength congestion - but After Tomorrow is another day.

love - Chuck

IV free

Wow - what a big day. I have been removed from my IV - no more needles, tubes, or being stuck. The only downside is now I need to ask for my morphine - but that is a small price to pay.

The other good news is that the Dr. did decrease the size of my sponge in my wound and it is now closing on its own.

Now I am off to bed - been a long but good day.

Much love to you all.

Chuck

Today in Texas

Good Morning.
Today I fell better than I have in weeks. My congestion is breaking up, the Dr. begins to close my wound today, the eggs for breakfast had been cooked today, I get to shave myself today with my very own razor and of course designer shave gel -there is a God. I cannot even tell you how horrible my hair looks - and you know how I am about my hair - maybe patience is something I am learning - Hmmm - not a bad thing.

This is the week I would be going home to PA for my sisters wedding. It is sad that I wont be able to be there but I ask you all to join me in sending out good karma to her and Tom - two people who seem to have found the happiness that everyone searches for.

Its cold here in Bushland. It was 34 this morning - yikes - one good thing about being trapped in a hospital room. Speaking of hospital rooms - this one is a hoot. The best staff in the world is asked to work in an environment that is less than ideal.

My room is very small - very few plugs so moving me around in it is quite difficult as I am plugged into many things. The bathroom is a shock. There is no way any bariatric patient could get into the room and close the door. The grab bars are behind that door of course. Quite a place.

Well I am fading now - so off for a nap and some more jello - feels like I live in Utah - more jello than anyone could eat.

Hugs and love - Chuck

TV in West Texas

This huge University Medical Center has some contract with a cable provider to offer service to the rooms. There are only 19 channels - no food network, no home and garden network, no LOGO, 4 religious channels, 2 channels of Fox Noise, 2 movie channels showing movies I wouldn't have seen the first time around, SiFi channel and all the others are in Spanish. There should be a law.

Actually tried to work a bit today - yes - some of you might know that just before coming here for the supposedly 8 days I began work as the Development person for Chamber Music Albuquerque - and I was thrilled. For whatever reason they seem to want to hang on to me and for that I am very thankful - so today I actually tried to earn my keep - it felt good.

I have been thinking lately about the whole American ideal of more, bigger, faster, better; the need to spend all our time working and achieving and so little time living, loving, sharing, and being. I realize that there are so many of you out there that I have not shared much time with over the past years and I miss you. This attempt to stay connected is making me aware of the love that is in each of us and just needs to be connected on a regular basis.

Life is pretty amazing if you allow it to be -

Much love to you all.

Food, glorious food

Today I began eating real food again - YEA!!!!! Breakfast was sausage, lunch was chicken - I got to chew, taste, and not gag - there is a God.

After the bedside surgery - the Dr. is happy and so am I . He says next week he will begin to make the sponge inside the wound smaller each time he changes it so it will begin to close itself. This is really good news.

I have been sleeping a lot lately it seems the days are just long periods of time one waits to pass until night time comes and sleep takes you away to dreams until morning when the process begins all over again. I have developed a huge respect for those who are bedridden for long periods and often lifetimes. I will never understand how they do it.

The other thing I have noticed is that the world needs many more handsome male nurses.

For today - blessings to you all.

The wonders of science

Spending 3+ weeks in the hospital exposes one to all kinds of medical and mechanical wonders.

In the forefront is the Magic Green Finger which I believe I have stated is my morphine feed. There is the amazing VacPac that is connected to one of my open wounds - I am stuffed with some space age sponge and the vacuum from this gadget keeps the blood flowing and the tissue healing. They have even redesigned bedpans. But the most amazing thing has been the parade of beds they have had me in.

Bed 1 was a complete adventure. It was an air bed that keep self-adjusting which was a bit disconcerting but comfortable. It had many settings and even turned into a chair when needed.
One evening we were having some trouble with the bed doing what it was supposed to do and just before Edwin left he thought he found the solution and set the bed to Quiet Rest hugged me goodbye and left. Well Quiet Rest is a setting that constantly and slowly inflates and deflates the bed, raises it high into the air and lowers it completely and begins all over again. At first I couldn't figure out what was happening - but soon realized that I would spend the entire night floating through the air and had to call the nurse. New bed the next day.

The good news today is that there is not going to be another surgery - the bad news was he did it bedside. Cutting dead tissue from my insides - didn't hurt but the snip of the scissors each time was a bit strange.

So much for now - back to Nash Bridges reruns.

Much love - Chuck

Little green bumps

Hospital food has never, as far as I know, been touted as yummy. Now take that hospital food, puree it till it is a very thick liquid, put it into a mold shaped like a pile of peas and serve it to someone who is sick - Hmmmmmm. I wont say more - in case you are reading this prior to a meal.

Today more good news came. The Dr. who wanted to do an additional surgery today decided that the wound is healing so well now that he is going to start to close it later today - at bedside - Hope he is bring a LOT of drugs with him. But I always have my green finger of joy - this is the button to my morphine pump and has become my best friend. Better living through Chemistry.

Tomorrow I understand I might be getting a real chair to sit in and then I promise the blogs will be longer. UMC is an amazing place for care but they are about 20 years behind in updating the rooms. My sister did some decorating but couldn't increase the size of the room - and here I thought she could do anything. I really wanted to get this out to you all and say once again for the very special notes and comments.

Things are getting better each day - and your prayers and support are one of the reasons.

Much love and good night.
Chuck

as I was saying. .

Hello all my friends. I have returned from the darkness and my first task was to say catch up on news about the happenings in wonderful downtown Lubbock.

Let me say first of all that I am a very lucky person. As most of you know I have a sister - a pretty damn special sister. She and her fiancee just returned from a trip to Israel.
She stepped off the plane on Friday night and Saturday morning was on another one to Lubbock. She left today as she is in the midst of planning her wedding that is happening on November 1 but our visit was very special. She did some shopping and brought me many books to read. We cried that I will not be able to attend the wedding and she got lost a lot in Lubbock. Thank you Susie for coming way out here to spend time with me. Who is next? You will love Lubbock.

Ok - here is the scoop.

3 days after surgery I awoke feeling great and began my morning with a cough. Wrong thing to do. That tore open all the fascia (look it up - I don't know what it means) something about the tissue inside my abdomen. So back to emergency room and eventually that day surgery again to fix all that.

I was released from ICU and sent to wonderful room 329 where I have become the long termer on the floor.

I will pass along more details as time goes on. The good news is that I am healing better than I was. The Dr. thought I might have surgery again this week but it is looking like that wont have to happen. Cross fingers, etc. please.

There is so much to tell you all and so many wild things about hospital care and special post surgery beds, the size of the tissues they give you, the 4 and 6 AM vitals taking but I will write more tomorrow. I know some of you were worried and I wanted to get this out to you asap.

I love you all and have loved the comments - keep em coming.

Till tomorrow - good night!

Ain't Life a Surprise

Last Wednesday evening, I underwent additional surgery to repair some issues that developed with one of the incisions from my bariatric surgery. I am still in the hospital and don't know how long I will be here but, I am doing fine. Edwin's with me nearly round the clock and the staff at the hospital continues to amaze me as to how perfect they are.

Love,

Chuck.

PS. As of blogging this posting, Chuck has been moved from the Surgical Intensive Care Unit to a regular hospital room. He continues to improve at a very rapid pace.

Edwin

Who knew?

Yike my friends - this is hard. I was finally allowed to shower this morning - thank God or JC would have slept in the car. It felt wonderful. Also removed all the bandages and the catheters today also - the caths were in my chest feeding pain medicine directly to the incisions. All went well.

But God am I tired. I would sleep all day if I was allowed. But I have to walk a LOT each day - and although I promised to dream about long walks in the Alps Dr. Syn said I needed to really walk to make it productive.

I hope you are reading all the fun comments from my wonderful and crazy friends all over the world. Mary and Diane tramping around New England,, Simon outside London, Eddie from Boise, and many others to be named in another blog.

I have to admit that I just didn't think it would be this much discomfort and trouble moving around. The pain pills are wonderful and never out of my reach. Some of these "products" they have suggested I try in get in - get this - 110 grams of New Whey - a liquid protein drink with 40 grams in each 3 oz serving - just imagine. The Chocolate pudding is wonderful thank God but much of the rest of the stuff leaves lots to be desired.

JC is here for another 1.5 days and then he is driving back to Nebraska to be with his lovely wife Mary while she has rotator cuff surgery. I told him his retirement profession should be a nurse. Edwin arrives on Tuesday and life will change dramatically with his endless energy and New York accent. Pray for me.

It is time for more drugs then bed - bless you all for being in my life.
Chuck

Not quite 100%

I was told that the second day after surgery would be the worst - they were right - very right. There is a lot of pain when getting up and down but finding a comfortable position to sit or lie isn't easy. I did my first blended meat this morning - do not, I Repeat DO NOT add this to your diet unless it is life or death.

JC is the worlds best caregiver and his input from his experience at this surgery has been very helpful.

This will be short with hopes the the coming days will be better and I am able to write more.

Much love - Chuck

The view from my bed

I made it!!! I am sitting in my hospital bed with a beautiful view of the skyline of Lubbock and just received the word I will be released today. It all seems to have gone well. And shortly JC will drive back to the hotel and I will sleep for hours. Following that I will attempt to write something more interesting that this.

A night in Lubbock

I cannot seem to find the right temperature in my lovely apartment in the Residence Inn of Lubbock. We just had one of those surprise severe storms common on the Texas plain and the power was off for about an hour. Interesting way to begin my first night in town.

Tomorrow the festivities begin. I will go into surgery at 7am with the actual event to happen about 8. My former seminary roomie JC will be arriving in the morning to spend a week with me. JC has this same surgery almost 2 years ago and is barely recognizable from our days of living together in Berkeley. He will be a big help as he is a natural caregiver and, of course, has firsts hand knowledge of what I will be going through.

When JC leaves my old friend from Tampa, Edwin, will arrive and spend a week, driving back to Albuquerque with me and spending some time there. It is a very special thing to have friends willing to put their lives on hold to help out a friend. I am very grateful for their presence in my life.

When I arrived in town I stopped at the Health Food Market, recommended by Dr. Syn, and picked up nourishment for the next week. Well - nourishment is a very lose term for the various forms of liquid protein I will be living on for a week. Later in the week I get to add blended meat to the diet. Blended meat! Think about that! Chicken in a blender - I think I am going to try chicken, a little fat free sour cream, and some salsa and hope it tastes like a liquid burrito. Time will tell.

Well its off to bed now so that I am chipper and ready at 7am. I love you all. I do love to see the comments on the blog by the way so keep them coming. Tomorrow (or sometime shortly after that I will be writing to you as a thinner person - we hope).

Last day at home

Today I am packing for my journey and preparing my home for my return (in laypersons terms that means laundry and cleaning two of my least favorite things). Let me also apologize for not using spell check on my last posting - although I did go back and correct the typos. The problem with having so many smart and kind friends is they have a tendency to tell you when you have screwed up - and thanks to Michale I will always now remember to use spell check.

As all this fuss goes on I have been reflecting on the reasons for the events of this week.

Most of you reading this blog didn't know me when I was thin and yes - I was once very thin. There is a picture of me in 11th grade hanging right in front of me while I am writing and skinny is really a better term.

Who knows why certain people gain a lot of weight? I have spent many hours over the years trying to figure it out for me and to no avail. There are many speculations out there but none of them seem to ring completely true. Possibly that means they are all true to an extent. What I know is that I love food. I love cooking it, eating it, serving it, experimenting with it and as many of you know watching it be cooked on the Food Network. My relationship with food has been significant all my life.

When I was in junior high school I used to stay home "sick" so I could spend the day cooking. I loved sorting through my mother's cookbook(s) and finding something I could prepare for the family that night. These cooking adventures were pretty good in general but always difficult to explain how I suddenly felt well enough to cook all day.

As time went on food just became more important to me and as so many people with weight issues I considered food a drug. It made me feel better. It was safe. Eating was hardly something I could screw up - but today as I pack to have surgery to assist me in controlling my food issues - I realize even eating can be done wrong.

The goal, of course, is to become healthier and to get my life back. The few of you on this list who have been in my life for a very long time remember me as a pretty active person. I didn't usually play weekend football but I loved camping, traveling, swimming, and there was a time I lived on a bicycle. Football will never be on the list of things I chose to do - but I look forward to a much more active life and a much longer one. All the better to keep you all in my life for more time.

I have a wonderful friend who has just lost a lot of weight and she sent me a very special email today in which she said, "I am so sick of being encased in a body that has nothing to do with my spirit". Wow! I believe she has spoken for me also.

Have a glorious day.

Different Forms of Journeys

There are many parts to each journey and the physical part of the journey to Lubbock is a very interesting part of this journey for me.

The six hour drive is easily divided into 3 approximately 100 mile segments.

The first 100 miles is very typical boring interstate highway driving from Albuquerque to Santa Rosa New Mexico. This route is lined with McDonalds and the like with the infamous Clines Corners half way. Clines Corners is one of those tributes to traveler resting places that dotted the American highway when some of us were kids. Filled to the brim with rattlesnake gift items (I have yet to decide to just whom one would give a rattlesnake gift item), tacky dolls, bad tshirts, passable restrooms and food that my trainer would faint if he saw me eating.

The Second 100 miles is much more interesting although there is almost nothing at all on the drive. From Santa Rosa to Fort Sumner where Billy the Kid is buried the landscape does not speak much of human habitation. There are very often herds of antelope, goats, of course cows, and even a farm with Llamas, goats and alpacas. The Antelope are beautiful animals who literally bounce across the vistas and make one feel they are on a real adventure.

Now the last 100 miles is pretty much entirely inside Texas and is heavy into farming, feed yards, and Republicans. Makes for a very smelly drive.

Cooks Restaurant in Clovis New Mexico makes the best hamburger I have eaten in years. I had one this past week as a goodbye to that type of food for a long time. It made the taste even better.

As the gum chewing server said to me as I left after asking what made the burger so good she said, "honey, we take good New Mexican beef raised in Texas and fry the hell out of it" Well she did hit the mark on that one - and a joyfilled farewell it was for me.

In the beginning. . .

Although I have been in the process of preparing for this surgery, today is the day it became real. Today I have been given the surgery date. Next Thursday, the 27th of September, 2007.

My wish is to update this blog often and almost daily for the next few weeks and frequently after that and to do that for a 2 year period. Yes, I am aware that after a while most people wont care to follow the progress daily but it will give me a complete picture of my journey and who knows - books come from such things.

So today the journey begins.

The accompanying picture was taken a few weeks ago to provide Dr. Syn a before picture.